508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
