i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
