he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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