It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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