reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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