we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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