This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
