so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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