If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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