I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
