Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
