a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
