do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
