if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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