thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
