He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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