saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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