i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
