pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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