I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
