I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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