I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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