Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
