So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
