Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
