New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
