If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
