You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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