I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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