doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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