some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
