the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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