what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
