the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
