I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
