Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
