just come out here and I will go home with you...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
