Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
