atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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