my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the raccoons are back...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
