is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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