I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
