i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
When did angry sex become our thing?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Pants are for mortals
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
