My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
