He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
