Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
