"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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