Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
