I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
