It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
